HOW TO PHOTOGRAPH
Remove film from box and load camera.
film box from puppy's mouth and throw in garbage.
puppy from garbage and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.
4. Choose a
suitable background for photo.
5. Mount and
6. Go find
puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.
7. Place pup
in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
about spot and crawl after pup on knees.
with one hand and fend off pup with the other.
tissue and clean nose print from lens.
flash cube from pup's mouth and discard.
out cat and put peroxide on scratch on pup's nose.
ashtray and magazines back on coffee table.
14. Try to
get cute expression by squeaking toy over head.
your glasses on your face and fish camera from under sofa.
16. Jump up
in time to grap pup by scruff and say "no, outside".
spouse to clean up mess.
Sit back in lazyboy and resolve to
teach pup 'sit-stay' first thing tomorrow.
20. Tell yourself that pictures are overrated anyway!