HOW TO PHOTOGRAPH
YOUR PUPPY
1.
Remove film from box and load camera.
2. Remove
film box from puppy's mouth and throw in garbage.
3. Remove
puppy from garbage and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.
4. Choose a
suitable background for photo.
5. Mount and
focus camera.
6. Go find
puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.
7. Place pup
in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
8. Forget
about spot and crawl after pup on knees.
9. Focus
with one hand and fend off pup with the other.
10. Get
tissue and clean nose print from lens.
11. Take
flash cube from pup's mouth and discard.
12. Throw
out cat and put peroxide on scratch on pup's nose.
13. Put
ashtray and magazines back on coffee table.
14. Try to
get cute expression by squeaking toy over head.
15. Replace
your glasses on your face and fish camera from under sofa.
16. Jump up
in time to grap pup by scruff and say "no, outside".
17. Call
spouse to clean up mess.
18. Fix
double martini.
19.
Sit back in lazyboy and resolve to
teach pup 'sit-stay' first thing tomorrow.
20. Tell yourself that pictures are overrated anyway!
-Author Unknown |
